uh huh, it has been months hasnt it since i updated?
well, the past 6 months sucked. and the next few months are going to suck too
37 days to stupid prelims
80 something days to Os.
and about 90 days for prom:)
seems like forever:(

and YOU, please dont be a distraction to me. you know who you are sucker, yes you!

hey(:
ive finally got some room to breath. some time to think about anything not related to piano or work.
i spent alot of time today on the phone(: it wasnt tooo bad. but i think blah could tell that i was faking it. hahas. but blah said it was good to talk it out. thanks blah(:
ok, so that caused me to skip my bio revision. but, no regrets(: ill chosoe talking to blah anytime over bio(:(:
next week i have four test which are emath, chem, a math and geog. geog its about like 52 pages. YUCK. and, i have 3 birthday parties to attend. most likely ill be attending one only. (:(:

its been a long wait. time's up. but, you still dont have an answer for me, do you?
this has always been last on your priority list anyway.
why do i still hope?

its more than i can take

hey(:
just realsied, being a sec 4 is super scary. on the first day, all the teachers jsut walked in and were like,"girls youn dont have much time....this is not your honeymoon year....have to buck up" the usual lectures. and eveybody's face was like solemn. i havent got in to the studying mood yet, but i seriously hope that i'll get that soon.

and i kinda realised that i have to start my emath from scratch. or else, i dont think i can even get a B for the o levels. gosh!

mum told me something today. its something, something i have been trying to put aside, to just ignore. but i dont understand why, its always coming back, always haunting me. i thought i lost it, but then of course, i couldnt be even more wrong. mum showed me the files, shwoed me the truth of many years, showed me the reason why i was fat, showed me ......many things i guess.

i just wish i can out that out and away. i dont want anything to affect my studies this year. distractions i can handle, i can control. but a toll on my health, i cant control.

and then she said the worst thing. the worst. i may be leavin the country to seek help somewhere else. mum said that maybe thats the best option. she said to her, me being alive is more important than anything, including the Os. but some how, i have this oddd feeling, that whichever part of the world i go to, i cnt put away that one thing.

i cant blame my mum. she doesnt want me to be living on pain killers my whole life. she doesnt want me to die of liver or kidney failure, whihc is her's and my doctor's biggest worry. but hey!, neither do i, you know. but i dont e4xactly jsut want to leave everything over here like that, my sis, brother and dad will be here. and ill be away from them, with just my mum, for 5 years? the thought jsut sucks badly. and leaving singapore would mean, leaving home, crescent, red cross and my whole life here. i cant bear to think about it, but somehow i know its the obvious truth. and sometimes life can jsut be soo unfair. to not just me, but to almost everybody around me.

hey hey(:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

school started today. it was terrible. thye usual lectures from the teachers anout how time flies by in sec 4. ok, whatever, but yeah its scary. then had english lesson today. and abit of emath. the rest was just introduction. today was abosolutely tiring. i was soing all the left over holiday hw which was just plain stupid stupid. gosh, especailly english. its sooo much. but just completed some. yay yay!!! ok, now going to do more

Hey Hey(;

Merry Merry Christmas!

went east coast yesterday. mum allowed(: was very fun. rinaa's family was very friendly, especially her mum. thank for the food and fun(:

today, is christmas. went for tuition at 2. sucky, i know. then came home and went visiting(: but i didnt eat turkey this year too. its scary:P

well, i cant believe im saying this, but i hope school starts soon. i prefer pressure to boredom. and, i miss my squadmates and friends. ive been cut of from the world for one month:( school please start.

hey hey(:
today was ultra tiring. woke up at 8 and started shifting everything in the house cos people were coming to paint. my piano was a big headache/ then my computers/and my study table/and my stuff toys/and my darlink bed/ gos it was soo tiring covering them and moving them/ painting started at 10 and ended at 6(: my room is now yello(: better than the pink last time.hahas

tomorrow, dhasni say go east coast for her burfday. hopefully mum allows(: should have seen the look on her face man. she was PISSED:( but later she was ok. hopefully i can gooooo. if not i'll be cooped up at home yet again. BLOODY FUCK.

oh and this is my favourite line now(:
never cry for any relation in life,
because that person doesnt deserve your tears
the person who deserves your tears
would never let you cry

makes sense doesnt it? so whenever my parents make me cry, i know they dont deserve my tears. someone else does. so it makes me feel better, knowing that they dont deserve it. like today. totally bitchified.

hey hey(:
today has so far been quite boring. it would get better later though(: morning woke up with a headache, so took brufen. then was helping mum sort out albums. then, people from ikea came to install new cabinets in my room(: dad claims there are books all over the room and files under the bed. that is a lie, becasue there was only ONE file under my bed, and that was literature file. (which i seriusly dont care about). they drilled holes into my walls!!! so there was dust all over the place. i spent 1 whole hour cleaning the place and sorting my books. At the end of it, i was sooo sticky, that i had to take a second shower within 4 hours. then had lunch, and went for physics tuition.

physics tuition was good. spent 2 good hours doing circuits. heh. but circuits is fun(: mr ong's Self evaluation excersise was good(: hehe.

then came home after tuition. went to the shop and bought 3 merci boxes, 2 chipster pkts and 6 cans of coke. my cousins are coming over tonight. now the time is 5pm. they should be here at around 7 i think. those pigs always come in time for dinner only, never earlier. pigs. oh, and we planned to have movie marathon(: no idea what stupid movie they are going to bring this tim.

and while i did all these stocking up of titbits and stuggling in tuition, guess where my family went? they went to watch MR mangorium's wonder emporium. then they did shopping. they are still not back you know. so, im all alone, at home, with nothing to do but reading fanfiction and blogging/ cant wait till my cousins come over(: im totally dying of boredom.

ok, im going to go read draco hermione love stories(:

hey hey(:

this is going to be a long long post, cos its a summary of december.

holidays are coming to an end. this holiday has not been productive at all. November was mainly CCA and homework. but of course, homework was not done. December, cca was strictly not on the list of activites. The whole of this holiday, i have been to JB 4 times and to KL once. haha. I have spent soo much on shopping and movies. bought a new Puma bag, new specs, new pencil case, new piano books,new sunglasses, new CDs and alot of new new things. i watched, enchanted, the golden compass, whispers, and VEIL. spent alot of $$$ from savings,cos my mum said that she cant fund my leisures. terrible i know. i still have to buy new shoes:( mum said she will fund that because they are for school. i went for 2 chalets too!!! bought a few asseament books too, but havent really touched them.

im going for grade 6 piano exam next march. i was completely against it first, but my parents just didnt listem to me. So, i have been doing a million exam papers and its sooo shit. got a slight hope of passing, but NO HOPE of any merit or distinction. stinks. speaking about piano, my mum sew a balck satin piano cloth to cover my piano. its so beautiful that i had no heart to open and play it. so i got scolded for that too.

ohoh, christmas is around the corner. i and my aunt are making good good use of the sale. haha. the best part of going with my aunt is that, she is so not like my mother. which is good. oh, and im loaded with, not alot of cash, but alot of souveniors. haha, i have got, i coin purse, 3 keychains, 2belts, 4 chains, 2 shirts, i koala wallet and 1 packet of durian chips. most are from thailand bought by my mum when she went there with her office.

im not really done with homework. havent touched tamil, havent done much for english. amath, havent do coordiante geometry. chemistry, physics, and literature almost done(: dont plan to do anymore homework anymore though. havent been studying. my parents had forbid me from giong for any cca in december. so they are under this impressiont that i have been studying. but seriously, i havent. not at all actually. but i promise myself that next year i'll have no more outings:(


i have also got into a very bad bad habit. i need to stop that.

ok, now im going to play dinner dash(: just a few more days, so i'll make good use of it.

HEYS:)

had promo parade today. abit the screwed but sec 3 squad promoted:) totally. brother got back PSLE score. not bad. but still havent beat me:)my parents just ditched me in school and left for malaysia today. didnt even bother telling me. FUCK. i bet they are totally enjoying. and i am left at home with not even a good TV programme to watch. Anyway, end year camp round the corner baby!!! totally have to start packing:) whooo hoooo/

HELLO:)

deepavali is around the corner. very busy!!! i slept at 4 am yesterday cos we spent so much time making cookies. but it was so fun:) the younger generation was talking stories and bitching while the old ladies were complaining that the cookies wont turn out nice if we BITCHED:)
but, the cookies turned out fine.

went malaysia this morning, at around 10. had less than 5 hrs of sleep:)i bought two punjabi suits in JB:)yayness

now have alot of cca stuff to complete:( WAHHH

GD NIGHT:)

HEYS:)
got back exam results. still got room for improvement. parents not satisfied, ususal shit larh. but i made improvements:)

Results:
English-C5(PATHETIC)
HTL- A2(improved(:)
Amath-A1(YAYNESS)
Emath-c6(SHIT RITE?)
Chemistry-A1(barely scraped)
Physics-C6(PATHETIC)
Biology-C6(EVEN MORE PATHETIC)
Geog-B3(DEPROVED LORH)
Combine humans-B4(first time i pass)

im all alone watching high school muscial. rather study, its like soooo boring.
cant wait for combine training, got some enrichment:) it'll be like my only outing. i spent my time today ideling, plyaing piano, sleeping, reading, lazing, blogging and talking on phone.
this month's bill is 97. dad scolded and threatened to take away my phone. still havent learn my lesson he said. WHATEVER.
oh, today went and bought a new calculator. sexy black one:) my mummy bought a calculator tooooo. calculators are fun objects whihc help you do math. math is love
i guess u can tell im bored. I shall go do A math:)

loves

eh, FINALLY REMEMBERED MY PASSWORD:)
ok. exams over:) left with o level MT:)
WE HAVE SQUAD OUTING ON THE 19 of novemeber:) guess where. ESCAPE :)
hehe:) finally a squad outing i can go for:)
ok. watching sivaji, the boss/

gd night:)

hello!
i havent updated for a long long time i know:) exams so yar..i think im going to fail everything except maybe english. :( im not going to make it. and the best part is my parents say that i have to shlef my going out after the exams part and start studying for final years and brush up on my current affairs. so i coulnt even go squad outing. i have started studying bonding and doing newspaper article summaries TO BRUSH UP MY CURRENT AFFAIRS. im damn sad lar:) and finally i can play my favourite richard clayderman piano piece:) thats good news.
and i just realised that i love ice blended mocha and ice blended lemon with EXTRA PEARLS>
ok. random
i started saving for special birthdqay which are in one month after july:) hahas. the day before national day:) and the day before 30th augest:)))

bought a new skirt yesterday:) looks nice but dont feel like wearing:)

people pity me:)
today is a SATURDAY
woke up at 6 in the morning and read newspaper. then did newspaper article summaries to BRUSH UP MY DCURRENT AFFAIRS. gosh
then when for piano class and now doing piano hw.
then later going to start ionic bonding;(

see, people pity me:(


ok, going back to do piano hw.

nanthini v:)

never ending sadness

hello:)
i havent updated for some time. Just didnt feel like it.
CRESCENT WON 3rd for TALENT TIME!!! super cool. i got the video, but some ppl not ahppy with it for som reason:(
to day has st mags discussion thing. not bad. they are friendly:)
the rite, i love chemistry:) i realised it some time ago.
but chemical equations suck:(
i am half way through total defence, but i cannot concentrate.
i need to settle things wif bernice tomorrow. im super pissed wif her.
those who know, join the fan club.
ok, i got a list of things to do, so uh huh
all in all had a good week!
oh yar, the food at tiffany coffe house at the furame hot el id yummmy:) its a hint**

:D

hello.
now is march holiday/
not much of a holiday.
packed with activities.
the whole week.

but i am super happy. my grandmother is coming back to singapore. but she is leaving my grandfather in india. on that day i have red cross camp. so sad lar. i have been dying to see my grandparents again. its on my wishlist. hahas. i have waited so long. can wait a bit longer. i have so many things to do now. lessonplanning, holiday hw, enrichment program, learning festival. too packed with activities. then today i had mother tounge camp and after that enrichment.

i had piano exam on saturday. hopefully i din screw it up. i want at least a merit.
my father has to meet form teacher because my coomon test grades suck. now there is a debate whether i should quit red cross or not btw my parents.

and i cant find a replacement because of the campfire night thing.


in am super duper bloody SCREWED

sick on friday. pon school. yesterday when for piano. it is my last lesson before my exam next week. so scared. then today when to do eat at banana leaf appolo. after that we went to see the river hong bao at marina bay. its super boring. only the zodiac thing is nice. came home and studied bio. the only thing that has retained in my head is th SMOOTH ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM. also known as SER. just kidding lar. rememvered quite alot suprisingly. haven do oratorical speech yet. im so screwed on tuesday.

today sunday. nothing eventful. boring. studying a maths./ i cant even do one question. give up already. geog is also difficult. cant understand monsoons. help me!!

common test period. failing everything is not an option. screwed up chemistry today. whatever i studied was not tested/. social studies was ok. tuition was fun. laughing and laughing only. never understand anything. tomorrow got piano. 10 march is exam. sucky sucky. haven finish hw. composing melody sux.

never cry for any relation in life
because the one whom you cry for
does not deserve your tears
and the one who deserves your tears
will never let you cry


i copy this from priya's tablet. i find it touching and completely true. thought that i might like to share it:)

today didnt go anywhere. stayed home and studied like shit. but nothing in staying in my brain. i dont understand northeast and southeast moonsoon or whatever. stupid stupid. today my sister was not at home. got the whole rom for myself. i spoke to him so long. hehe, he so cute. lalala

FRIDAY WAS BEST. and the worst. went ice skating after school with bernice, aiysah, rab, and nanthiyni. coincidentally, serena ma am, safarina ma am and diana ma am went there too. i cant exactly write my feelings of being on top of the world becasue this is a blog. and that means ANYONE can read it. hmpf. fell down during ice skating like 3 times. its more like ice walking. i cant even skate. safa ma am and her friend tried to teach me. but, um i still CANT skate. i have bruises on my back my ankles and my arms. i pity rabiatul, she fell about 30 times. she must be in pain. ahh. friday was the best lar. i cant emphasise more. i have added those gloves into my collection of valuables. and the hax sweet wraper that rui ting gave me which was from her. hahas. today was the worst. went to eat breakfast outside. then went to library. then came home and studied chem. i am still studying chem. going to watch tamil movie later. boring. i want another friday eh. i got 4 miss calls from him. i cant answer because my parents at home. im dying.




gd night.

TODAY WAS BAD. started with total defence. it was good. everyone knows why. but then the day got bad during recess. AHHHH. what happened was so MAULATING!!!! god, i can never even look at her face again. damn it. THEN I FAIL ALL MY TESTS I GOT TODAY> i share with you ah...
E MATH: 7/20
SS: 4/11
physics: 9/25
shit rite?
but geog was fun. talking to hazel. she has a dare. i will pay her 10 bucks if she completes it. i dun even think she dares lar. laugh my heart out at the jokes she made.
AHHH. i came home early to study, but my mind is still on what happend during recess. im dying. HELP ME/
gd night

today was fun. i feel so loved. thank you. but aarthi had to spoil my day. hmpf, i din know what to get for them so i ended up buying chocolate. i dun think they know its me. phew. i need to prepare full u for tomorrow. BIO LESSONS SUCKKKKK. gd night

today was cross country. it was FUN. god knows why. hahas, din run, had first aid duty> at the base. with... then,after cross country when for lunch. then i ended up at ANCHOR POINT ALONE> i was supposed to buy stuff for tomorrow's valentine's day> and i ended up shopping for i dunno what and i spent liken 50 bucks> gosh my parents a re going to kill me> not only did i spend 50 bucks> i also did not revise for common test, i completely forgot about common test until this morning, when the NCOs were like"dont you have common test tomorrow". then, i got stranded outside my house. FOR 3 FUCKING HOURS!!!!! i din bring my house keys and i waited outside my house until my brother came home at 6.30. gosh, i was having a mother of all headaches after sitting outside for so long lar. now i am going to go and revise the whale rider. my lit text book. stupid stupid. oh yar, i like people who are unique and special. that's why....finish the sentence yourself. i feel fucked up now.

WHAT I WANT FOR VALENTINES DAY IS:

a picture with the both of them and i will smile for the rest of my life.
no body can give this to me except them..so sad
so amanda you cant give it to me but thanks anyway



gd night

haven blog for three days. common tests coming up. dying already. I FAILED my first a maths test. and i am going to fail my other a maths test. tomorrow is cross country. i CANT WAIT!!!! god knows why. pretty stress out becuase i suck at everything and i dont want to suck at everything. i want to be like HER<> sankari scolded me today. becasue i brought her to tanglin to buy valentines day gifts> she says its expensive. I had a hell of a time doing CME project today with NAN S and NASIMA> super funny lar. AND i PON bio class today. i wish to pon every other bio classes i have on mondays. THEY SUCK> yesterday's tuition was fun.vino and i had a hell of a time> i spoke to him on sat . so wierd lar. i dunno what to say and he donnu what to say. stupid stupid. we were just talking about how sucky school is. and that was lame and akward. i dunno how to end the call. and i cant even look him in the eye without melting..ewwwwww. hahas im not THAT bad lar. and he is the I ROCK HIS WORLD. hint hint

im back. i saw her today. i was hyper. hahas. nothing much to post about i guess. getting back most of my test papers tomorrow. i pray i dont fail my A math and E math. if not my father will start tuition. i can barely breath with my activities now. TODAY'S BIO WAS BORINGGGG. ahhhh, i dun even know why im taking bio outside now. its so extra lar. my father just does not get it. my brother is playing with my new hp. he din even ask my permission. im super pissed with him. i got a lot of homework and im blogging. FUCK IT> i went crazy again today and started writing her name all over my foolscap pad. im going CRAZY. hahas, not that i dont like it lar..ok, im not talking sense now. will post again soon. oh, to pear, i give rotten advice so dont bother asking me about relationships. i cant help you, ill make it worst. im saying from experience. understand it and go with it.

yo. today was ok. time trial sucked. all lessons sucked. i slept during A math then teacher asked who is sleeping in my class. im that sleepy. i din see or greet both of them today. no wonder my day is bad. IM EXEMPTED FROM CROSS COUNTRY> hahas. imagine running 3 km. ewwww. and i still dunno what to get for valentines day. i need help. AND i have grown o.2 cm and lost 1.7 kg. i think i shld start running mass run. build up staminar. i feel so lan during PT lar pls/ everyone running except me. malu malu. new resolution for the year. RUN MASS RUN> haha. ok. goign to sleep like a pig. bbyyee

ok.its night now. finally. i am sick ofthe stupid health care shit in social studies. today was boring. i slept during physics and malu my self. then in the afternoon, i went for bio with s3. then i rushed for red cross. had talentime. it was a good exposure. then we had PT. i fell sick. im still sick. hahas. then we had FD com debrief. hahas. they were BOTH there. hahas. the best man. then, i haven got anything for my "squad valentine." i dunno what to get for her. then, i cant decide what to get for the sec 2s as their treat. ahhhhhh, and im broke. i got my new phone today. it came as a MAJOR suprise. my father has been saying that he would get me a new one for almost a year. then i was soooo happy to see it on my table today after red cross. i was able to jump after PT./ hahas. oh yeah, and some people including my beloved nasima and darlink sankari ask me who is the" i rock his world". as if i am going to tell lar pls hahas. oh, and if you have any idea what i can rite in the card for the BOTH of them, pls tell me. im dying. mum's scolding, saying blogging is a bad habit. better go. will post soon. btw, she was super cute today~~~

Thanks to sankari for helping me set this blog up :D

yo. yesterday was footdrill comp. it was the BEST. my squadmates were so super cool. hahas. they got into the second round!! and they came in 4th to 7th. my darlings were soo cute!!!. so professional lar pls. Next year i want to join even if my parents say no again., and yesterday HASLINDA MALU ME AGAIN. she asked her if i can take a picture with her. you should have seen her face. and mine. i was red red red. damn. i think. and yesterday's interaction, the one after fd comp was fun..hahas. btw, i cant post properly because my sister is a BIG KAPO. will post soon.

yo.
my squadmates are evil mean people. they told her. they actually did. they bully me lor. then i go home emo cos i think she tao me. hmpf. today is boring. i greeted her in the morning. it made my day. then i had lessons. i slept through A maths. and i studied during PE. uneventful day. we decided on class t and class outing. then later got social studies and maths retest. pray i pass. question before u go: is it complete stupidity to cry over your ec? my sister says so. tell me she's wrong. thanks for listening through my blabering. oh, amanda, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i wish i was sixteen. i can only pierce my second ear hole when i am sixteen or when i get an A1 for english this year which is impossible. yup, will update soon.
lovey

i saw her in school today. but i din greet her because she din see me. i din even see HER. okay. lets get this striaght. HER is someone elso and her is someone else. but they are both people whom i respect and admire. i told hazel and shahilah about my depressing ping pong story. they seem to think its funny. but its sad. HER does not know that i like HER. she thinks i like her. what to do leh? i keep irritating bernice talking about HER and her. what to do leh; i cant seem to help it. go home also think about her one. i have HER picture under my pillow and on my wall. i have her picture on my table and display cabinet. am i confusing? digest this. i'll follow up later. this is to pear, sorry i fogot to call last night. was a little stress with total defence project. oh yeah, irfana is joining red cross. she'll like it.
god bless HER and her

nanthini V

hey people
this is my new blog. not sure what happen to my old one. i will take some time to arrange the stuff. yup. sec three is quite stressful. So, i wont update frequently. yup, take care.
nanv